then there was the time I turned 33...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME,
I LOVE GROWING OLDER
WITH EVERY NEW DAY I GET TO SEE!

Since my early twenties, which are fading in the rearview mirror awfully quick, I have held to a personal tradition on my birthday. It's more of a resolution, actually, gleaned from my adventures at the farm in the untamed mountains where we grew up as young children. The location of my first childhood home definitely shared a zip code with the actual geographical point, "Middle of Nowhere". Set against a backdrop of the Yosemite mountain range and with a population of less than 200 people, we children were able to romp here in the unspoiled nature, in all its perils and its glory. As a six-year-old little girl, I remember seeing a snake shed its skin for the first time. It was amazing for me and my brother and sister, who sat there, crouched over the intact discarded snake skin for an incredibly long time, marveling. We thought it was so amazing, so "cool", so "rad" (those were the "rad" days, remember?) that a snake could just discard its whole length of skin entirely. I imagined that once the snake decided it was outgrowing itself, it emerged completely whole and renewed from within a now lifeless carapace that had served its purpose but had since become a hindrance.

So, each year I challenge myself. Just before my birthdays, I step up my prayer and reflection time a bit. I endeavor to take stock of my steps over the last year and celebrate the priviledge of actually getting to enjoy another 365 days of life on this lovely planet and in the communities that challenge and shape me. But I also look at myself with a critical eye, seeking to shed the skin (like the snake ~ I know some of you were sitting there wondering why I had taken that lovely little snake skin shedding tangent, weren't you?) that has become a restraint on my life, abundantly. I seek to expel one stifling element of myself and to embrace a new one which holds more promise and purpose for my journey.

The rules are: there are no rules. These elements of myself can be as specific or as general as God leads. But I do this every year in celebration of life, and in honor of God who gives it and seeks for us the kind of FREEDOM from our human concerns that we so fleetingly taste before getting anchored back in worldly concerns again. Pressing toward the goal of abundant life and freedom, I am risking to share with you my choices for this, my thirty-third, year:

To shed: the degenerative illness of "BUSY"
To add: Adhering to the criteria of my spiritual gifts and being deliberate in choosing what to invest and commit myself to (and what NOT to) over the upcoming year.

These two are inexorably married in my life, and evicting the "busy" is long overdue. Wish me well in this HUGE endeavor. I am excited beyond expression to be, still and forever, a work in progress. The day I feel "done" or that I have arrived at the best possible version of myself achievable in God's kingdom is the day I stand before Him in heaven, fervently hoping to hear, "Well done, my good and faithful servant". Until then, a heaping portion of the joy I have is in knowing that each step forward brings me closer to that moment. And in the meantime, the incredible bonus is that I get to enjoy this world, that I get to enjoy such blessings in my life.

Glimpses of my sources of grateful joy this year: my family, the ocean and sky and fields of flowers, the deer at the park at dusk, the buffalo and zonkeys in the hills, singing, listening, laughing, waterfalls and dragonflies, hard lessons and soft falls, the orphaned children of Bridges of Hope ~ South Africa, the grace-fueled parenthood of my two beloved soulful children (LaLa and Dash), my husbands crinkly eyes when he laughs, a comfy bed at the end of a well-spent day, Freebirds burritos and Dr. Pepper, bathrooms covered with water expelled by energetic splashing, having all the laundry complete and house tidy, Hazlenut and Sugar Cookie candles, plastic bags filled with indigo mussel shells from the beach, rock-a-byes and sleepy-night-nights, movies and buttery popcorn, neighborhood cats on the lawn the moment the sprinklers come on, family spa nights, the growing beckon of Maui, worship songs in 2-and-5-year-old voices from the backseat, moments of unplanned stillness and grace, each new Harry Potter book and movie, answering my daughters' deep questions and learning how little I know in the process, the warmth of two pair of warm fuzzy socks, hoping to be again able to be Mommy to another life someday, scrapbooking marathons, the pursuit of loving others as God does.

Life is Spectacular.

allergies, sinus, and winds...oh my...

Is there a legitimately documented medical case of a human person's head ever actually exploding from sinus pressure?

...if not, call Guniess. This is absolutely miserable...

50 Bones

$50.00 is the amount I spent to fill up the gas tank of my car today, which coasted into the gas station on fumes. I have been doing that more and more lately ~ it seems to be my unconscious manner of rebelling against the high gas prices by trying to eeek out every last mile I can before refueling.

This is not a good plan, mind you. It only really serves to accomplish an accelerated anxiety level for me as my low-gas warning light tends to suddenly illuminate when I am nowhere near a gas station.

But FIFTY dollars? I am not driving a Sherman Tank, people.

Fifty dollars also happens to be the downpayment amount I rendered for my first car (a 1982 Honda Accord, because that is consequential information) back in 1990. You know, back when gas was a measly $.89 a gallon.

Blowing in the wind, or just BLOWING?

Most Americans who are aware of what happened today in the Senate concerning Bill S.2611 (U.S. Immigration Policy, Increasing Border Security, Guest Worker Bill) probably have an opinion about it.

At least I would hope so.

This is not about changing the color of the China used in the white house, for goodness sakes. This is about the sovereignty of our nation, the protection of our children, the promise of our way of life, and the hope for the future. This is about the United States of America and our charted path towards the horizon.

For me, there is a certain reality to face. A great, great many of those people in positions to lead and direct our footsteps along this path are either unfortunately blind to the dead end canyons of razor sharp rock for which we are headed, or imagine unique and yet-to-be-actualized miraculous escape plans the likes of which we would most likely see on the season opener of Lost.

I have a word for this Senate bill. Several, actually. But, interestingly, what hit me hardest this afternoon as I thought and prayed about this dawning national dilemma: thankfulness. Isn't that stunning? THANKFULNESS.

Why?

Well, since you asked...

I am thankful that we are sitting in the midst of increasing evidence that the best laid plans of even the most likely, learned men are destined to inherent flaws and eventual failure if they are laid without the foundation of Jesus.

I am thankful that humanity cannot help itself by itself.

I am thankful that we are reaching a point in this nation where we must begin admitting that we do not have the ability to respond to every need or crisis that presents itself. That we are human and that there are finite limits to the seeming vastness of our wisdom. I am thankful that we are reaching the point where we must recognize the futility of our own greatness.

I am thankful that our eyes are being opened that even the best efforts, if you believe they are that, of each of us will never be enough to save us from ourselves.

And I am thankful that we Americans seem to be journeying towards loosening our grip on the utter reverence for our own political systems and the seeming perfection of the elected individuals within them. This understanding of the utter failings of the very men and women we elect to represent us was punctuated today as I read through some commentary referring to a 1999 study that spotlights the flaws inherent in expecting perfection from the hands of elected men, who, while serving us as elected representatives, are still inherently flawed and whose flaws, absent submission to the sovereignty of the Lord, prevent a perfected process our outcome of the government they manuever within:

>>>On August 19, 1999 Capital Hill Blue, a political news organization performed an in-depth study of the U.S. elected officials who formulate decisions for the nation in Washington DC. As of 1999 when the study was done, Capital Hill Blue opened with their conclusion by stating, "The 535 men and women who make up the House and Senate of the United States include, at best, a collection of rogues, con artists, scofflaws and bad check artists. At worst, they comprise, as Mark Twain once observed, a distinct criminal class."

Capital Hill documented the following:
…
Members who avoided driver's violations via Congressional immunity 217 (40.5%)
Members who filed bankruptcy on TWO or more businesses 117 (21.8%)
Members picked up for DUI, but let go via Congressional immunity 84 (15.7%)
Members with bad credit, unable to get a credit card 71 (13.3%)
Members who can't pass DOD or DOE security clearance 53 (10%)
Members accused of spousal abuse 29 (5.4%)
Members with DUI records (despite congressional immunity) 27 (5%)
Members sued by personal creditors 21 (3.9%)
Members who write bad checks (3.5% even after closing the House Bank) 19
Members with drug related arrests 14 (2.6%)
Eight were arrested for shoplifting, seven for fraud, four for theft, three for assault and one for criminal trespass.

Add to the list, Members since 1999 who were sentenced to Prison, 8 years or more for bribery, tax evasion, extortion, corruption, scandals, Special Interest Payoffs and you have the best Government, Money can Buy. A one term limit on all elected officials might solve the problem. Honest politicians with true integrity that listen to constituents may be an oxymoron but there are still many Republicans as well as Democrats that never compromise their oath of office or their Nation. These people are true leaders worthy of respect and support daily, far beyond election nonsense and 'pandering' for votes .<<<

I am thankful to be losing faith in the solutions of MEN because it refocuses me on the solutions of GOD. I pray for mine and others' committed and courageous hearts to boldly, wisely, and humbly speak for Godly solutions to the issues which confront us as individual and collective people, nationally and across the globe.

So, from the mind and heart of Lachen, I say this: while this Senate bill blows (and make no mistake, it does BLOW), our well earned complaints (and believe me, the word "crock" has been muttered more than once in my house today), cannot be the end of our participation in this process. We must do more. We must not allow ourselves to be paraded off this cliff without putting up one hell of a fight.

For those of us within whom this latest Senate bill sounds genuine alarms, I offer this iron sharpening encouragement: Pray without ceasing. Seek God's will. Passionately love across borders while ardently protecting that within. Then speak and act on the convictions God has placed on your heart. As for me, this long weekend will find me crafting emails to my Senator, Congress woman, Governor, and the President. But more importantly than that, I will be in prayer.

I stand today, in grateful knowledge that God is bigger than the size of our problems.

And in renewed knowledge that the answers, my friend, are not the only things which are blowing in the wind.

Runoff

It is down to 2 potential nicknames to rename my precious son on this blog.

THANK YOU to all who offered up suggestions, in jest and in earnest. I get such JOY from each of you who read this blog with interest and interact with me enough to post your thoughts and comments! I loved lots of the ideas you guys came up with.

It is down to two choices ~ a runoff vote is in order! I am again asking for your opinions on these contending nicknames for the child~formerly~known~as~"Joyboy":

1. Dash
2. Mini He

Whaddaya think? I leave it to you guys to decide by popular vote in the comments section. Thanks in advance for voting one last time, and I will begin using the new name you choose this Tuesday (my birthday!)...

Rock The Vote

Ok, so Copper has issues.

Specifically, my beloved husband is beginning to openly rebel against the notion that our beautiful son is known on this blog as "Joyboy".

Now, I hope all of you do realize that "Copper" is not my husband's real name. He does HAVE a real name and it is delightful. But because he is a veteran police Sergeant and has been around the block in neighborhoods that I have not, his understanding of the perils of internet and convictions against protecting our real names on public domain sites are written in violet in our home. My obedience of his direction in this area is not half-hearted. Copper has worked cases involving innocent children and adults who have been enormously harmed by the dark side of the internet, and those stories haunt me. This powerful tool we have to connect our lives, share information, and create a cyber community is not without it's very real risks. My seeking to limit that risk explains the lack of personal photos on this blog, and the fact that we are known here by nickname only.

My daughter is not really named "LaLa". That name is potentially only appropriate for a Boobah and flamboyant South American singers. The monniker "Copper" is obviously related to the fact that my sweet husband is a police officer - a COP. "Joyboy" is my son's nickname here because he is such a sheer and whole source of joy to me.

It is with this last nickname ~ Joyboy ~ that Copper has recently shared his great displeasure.

He has issues.

Copper says it is rather effeminate. Inappropriate, he tells me. Not a strong name, surely. Wimpy and infantile. Rather unbefitting the pure dynamo, pure BOY child of ours. Just plain bad, he said.

And there were accompanying faces that were liberally offered as punctuation to this discussion. Let us not forget those. Copper excels at making his point known through laughter, which usually involves the contortion of some part of his body, chuckling, and gleefully raised eyebrows. I am convinced that he shares some hidden genetic relation to Jim Carrey. He is an adorable, wry, rabble rouser whose personality is eerily similar to that that Jim Halpert guy on the show, the "Office". You know the one. That brilliant, longsuffering guy with the heart of gold but the sheer smart aleck wit, who delights in annoying the heck out of Schrute.

That guy. I am married to that guy. And it is a fantastic journey.

Ok, so I admit: calling a child "Joyboy" does probably wear out its welcome at about the same time diapers begin waning. And since we are at that moment in time and I do not wish to scar my husband or child for life, I am hereby endeavoring to re-nick-name my boy child.

So, I would like to enlist you all in a quest to RENAME JOYBOY.

I am now soliciting all suggestions for establishing a new nickname for my sweet little two~year~old snuggly Tyrannosaurus son. Please openly submit your opinions in the comments section, and I will choose the winner on Friday, May 26. So there better actually BE some suggestions in the comment section to choose from or I will be tempted to feel let-down, crestfallen, and abandoned by my blogger frinds. Well, maybe not all of that, but pretty please help me to choosing a new deliberately-NON-feminine, boyish nickname for my baby boy...

LET'S RE-NAME JOYBOY!

Jacks full of fives

...was the hand that won the Charity Texas Hold 'Em Poker tournament in February.

And I was holding it. By the grace of God, some uber-bluffing, and a hopefully growing sense of conviction that I just may be developing what it takes to play this infernal game with the Big Boys.

I just love to play poker. The winning is a great dessert, but not what satisfies or lures me into the playing. Well, until this time. You see, because this time, the winning prize is a WEEKLONG TRIP FOR TWO TO HAWAII!

We got the call from the official Poker Travel Agent today, letting us know the details. From July 12-20, we will be gracing the shores and volcanoes of the big island of Hawaii. For FREE! All because I played some smoking poker in a tournament to benefit the local high school girls' traveling basketball league.

And the timing could not be better for this miraculous vacation! In August, I am scheduled for another brain scan, more tests, and the bi-yearly discussion of my continued prognosis with fibromyalgia. That sounds fun. Additionally, this past few months has seen both Copper and I almost harmoniously burdened with a great deal of work, business, church, and just general life obligatory stuff lately, which combine to tax us powerfully. We are tired. Almost exhausted tired. And we would welcome a break - a rejuvenation - a time to be still and know that He is God and reflect in Him in our lives. And sleep in. Let us not forget sleep.

But, true to myself and the ongoing dance in my heart, I got off the phone from this conversation in a dazed sense of awe. Leaving our children for any length of time that involves an overnight stay causes me to be filled with anxiety. Though my mom and Copper's mom will be coming to stay at our house together to watch over LaLa and JoyBoy while we are gone and have planned ample trips to the zoo, beach, lake, waterfalls, natural history museum, and horse ranch while we are gone (read: our kids will be spoiled rotten), I wrestle with the absence of my blessed babies from their Mama and Daddy for 8 days.

It is difficult in another way, too - though to a lesser degree than my consideration for my children:

With so much going on in the world, I feel so conflicted to actually take this free vacation I won. So many more people deserve it. It seems a bit decadent to me, even though we aren't spending a dime. Well, I take that back. We are going to be spending some dimes - we have to eat during the vacation and our scuba diving or other activities are not included in the poker-winnings deal. But sitting on the beach, swimming in the ocean, watching the lava flow from the volcano while we reconnect as a couple and renew ourselves = all free.

Why do I just insist on being in turmoil about everything? Maybe I should just be proud of myself for playing well and winning the tournament, be grateful for the free Hawaiian vacation and amazing family who will embrace and shower our children with love and care while we are gone, and leave it at that. God sure has to break through a lot of analyzing and emotional red tape to pour out His blessings upon me these days.

flying pigs

“If you're listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you're a bigger moron than they are.”

"Drinking beer is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that's a tough call. That's rebellion."

~ Never met Alice Cooper and couldn't tell you the name of any of his music (he is a singer, right?), and he tends to resemble an electrocuted, angry Mime in most of the internet photos I took a gander at. But he got at least two things dead-on right.

a most unusual parking space

See car.

Nice little plastic car.

Meet Joyboy.

Sweet little 2-year old Joyboy.

See Joyboy flush car down yonder toilet.

Flush, Joyboy, flush.

See Daddy.

Tireless, heroic, wonderful Daddy.

See Daddy remove toilet after snaking was unsucessful.

Wrench, Daddy, wrench.

See car emerge after 90 minutes of concentrated yanking effort.

Hear the gleeful applause of both Joyboy and LaLa, who found tonight's toilet antics more amusing than the Disney movie on in the other room which went utterly ignored.

See Mommy.

See Mommy remember this particular Mother's Day with a giant grin and giggle.

Whoever believes that the best perks about celebrating this special day are gifts, roses, or fancy brunches has clearly not spent much time in this house. Here, the happiest family memories seem to involve such things as removing a little plastic car from its unfortunate parking space deep within a twisty porcelain maze.

my Mothers Day prayer

As Mothers Day approaches, I find myself deeply grateful and in renewed love of the husband who adores me and is the father to our children, the God who blesses our union and family, and my incredible two children whose life ~ from the moment of conception ~ made me a mother. I do not feel I have earned a celebration in my honor this year, but rather wish to spend my day in reflection and honor of those whose very lives give me the gift of motherhood. Once and again every day.

Lord, thank you.
Copper, bless you.
LaLa and JoyBoy, I love you.

I am blessed. I never really understood what it was to know God until I saw Him anew in his most precious creations: my babies. The reality of my kids has utterly transformed me. It is my goal in life to be the best steward I can to these treasured young ones to the utmost of my abilities. Hoping that one day in the rapidly approaching future, my children will arise and call me blessed. And I will thus, through the grace of the Lord, inhabit the bounty of the Proverbs wife.

This is my prayer.

wanted: uncomplicated ice

I visit the local pet store once a week. Because that is where they sell the rather slimy, definitely-not-for-the-squeamish blood worms we feed to the two Amazonian rubber eels in our fish tank. I dislike the worms, but love the eels, so I cope. The bonus of my weekly worm duty errand is the store mascot: a delightful miniature green parrot who likes to nibble on my keys and usually ends up on my shoulder or arm by the time I checkout. (There is a bit of a backstory about this little parrot that involves Ellen Degeneres, my infant son, and the broccoli aisle of the local market - but that tale will have to wait for another post.)

Next door to the Pet Place is a coffee and water store that also seems to sell juice and other various drinks. Basically, if it is wet and consumable, they seem to sell it. But what has interested me for a fair bit now is their boldy printed sign out front that reads: "GOURMET ICE". Gourmet ICE? How can ice be somehow more or less glamorous? When did ice develop into a class rating system - from mundane to gourmet? Isn't it all just frozen water when you get right down to it?

Clearly, I am missing something in the whole ice game. But it gave me food for thought - points to ponder - as I picked up my squirmy worms today.

And those thoughts launched me into this tangent: one of the primal causes of stress in our lives could potentially be solved if we could manage to navigate through our day to day tasks with more ease. Unfortunately, the mundanities of everyday life have become so doggone compartmentalized and unnecessarily complicated that we become tangled in an increasingly maddening labyrinth.

*~*~*~*~*

For example: I spent hours on the phone trying to fix an error on our water bill. Unless significant changes have occured in my household without my notice or consent, I am fairly certain my children are not planted in the ground and suddenly must be provided water through an agricultural meter at the lovely cost of $400 per month. It's shockingly hard to convince the water people over the phone that you are raising children, not strawberries.

There is no way in humanity any of us can possibly understand the US tax code and thus, abide by it, without $400 an hour help from an accountant. Make that an accountant that specializes in tax preparation for individuals.

We have to visit several different markets if our goal is to pay the least for each item on our shopping list. If we don't, we overpay on half of the groceries to get a good deal on the other half. And in each store, obtaining that elusive best price involves a plethora of coupons, our store-specific rewards cards, weekly customer mailings, and newspaper circulars.

Taking the car in for repairs is always a taxing experience of approximations that typically involves at least three trips to complete.

We are buried under masses of insurance: health insurance, whole life insurance, term life insurance, flood insurance, fire insurance, earthquake insurance, mortgage insurance, accidental death and dismemberment insurance, auto insurance, renters insurance, disability insurance, dental insurance... all with different policy numbers, payment schedules, and dastardly intricate pages of policy information we are supposed to be able to recall at will. I need insurance from my insurances.

Trying to replace your suddenly nonworking cell phone requires four trips across town, purchasing a random battery pack only manufactured in Zimbabwe, a body cavity search, and conversations with no less than eleven customer service reps whose first language is clearly Extra Terrestrial.

*~*~*~*~*

When buying ICE requires an understanding of the compression and pH balance of water from various regional areas, I would like to continue indulging in my ignorance and just buying the garden variety ice that comes in big bags at the supermarket or miraculously appears in my freezer compartment when I close the door. I don't ask what region it hails from or imagine it will be in the shape of Elvis (pre-drugged out phase), I just expect it to be, well... ice. If it is frozen water of some sort, that works.

But that's just me.

Personality A La Phil

Kudos to my sister for sending this to me by email today. I enjoyed it and found my results pretty doggone accurate. I am anxious to hear what you guys think ~ please openly share your results at will!

This is Dr. Phil's expressed personality test (I guess Dr. Phil scored 55 when he did this test on Oprah, who scored a 38). I am not an avid follower of Dr. Phil, but this test was fun and pretty accurate. The following only takes about 2 minutes. It's 10 Simple questions. So grab a pencil and paper to keep track of your letter answers to each question. Don't peek as you take the test, but scroll down after you've answered each question. Answer related to who you are now, not who you were in the past. Ok, here we go:

1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon & and early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you...
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with...
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are...
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS:1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6 ~~ 2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1 ~~ 3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6 ~~ 4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1 ~~ 5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2 ~~ 6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2 ~~ 7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4 ~~ 8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1 ~~ 9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1 ~~ 10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's q quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the exciteme! nt you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someonewho's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust In your f r! iends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would! really surprise them if you ever did somethingimpulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

How did you score?

Lettuce

Let us not base our Christian walk upon how adept we've become at demonstrating the power or perfection of our brand of love. But rather on how adept we are at being transparent, imperfect beacons helping to light the pathway to the ONLY PERFECT LOVE.

Let us cease preaching politics from the pulpit or the pedestal.
Let us quit vandalizing the Word of God with our own graffiti.
Let us not limit God to the size of our problems.
Let us instead openly live the abundant life God has given each of us.
Let us refuse to hush our spiritual gifts into a corner or conform to religious concepts at the expense of truth.
Let us be unafraid to be whom God has made us to be, and of the constant chiseling of our soul that occurs when we submit our wills to Him.
Let us not place our focus on social gospel, but on a gospel of the GOOD NEWS of salvation.
Let us give love and comfort to those we encounter from a place of obedience and joy ~ in the manner which they can best receive it, not to the finite limits of our comfort zones.
Let us not forget that righteousnes is a component of our covenant of faith.
Let us not forget that the Lord blesses those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.
Let us not be tempted to find our satisfied identity in our own doings, thoughts, or ponderings.
Let us not forget who we are working for.
Let us love by example.
Let us not bait and switch for the purposes of gaining popularity, pew filling, or edifying ourselves. Let us not compromise or abridge the Biblical word of God and the good news of Jesus Christ.
Let our eyes be opened, but also our hearts.
Let us not boast or lean unto own understandings.
Let us remember that we are but lamposts, meant to amplify the light.

"This is what the LORD says: "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight," declares the LORD." [Jeremiah 9:23-24]

LET US PREACH THE GOSPEL USING AS FEW WORDS AS POSSIBLE.

does Jesus take sick days?

LaLa
and
JoyBoy
and
Copper

...are all sick right now. I am managing to hold onto wellness, but by a thin thread.

Both kids have been up once tonight so far, and are now each snuggled back down under the helpful influence of Tylenol Cold and Motrin Fever respectively. Because Copper has to work (people are still protesting down here for one thing or another), we'll be calling in sick for church services in the morning. I don't think that the wheezes, sneezes, fevers, stinky diapers, aching bellies, and runny noses that are awash in our home tonight will be healed enough in 8 hours to feel comfortable subjecting others to our germs. Sigh. I am excited to spend time reading the Bible and teaching my own medicated and Kleenexed version of Sunday school to my little ones tomorrow.

Always a bright side...

finely aged tantrums

LaLa takes ballet every Friday afternoon at 4:30-5:15. It is possibly the very worst time of day imaginable to wrangle a dozen four and five year olds into tights, tutus, slippers, and expect them to cooperate in the process of disciplining their squirmy bodies and energetic minds into submission in the form of plies and releves. Friday. In the late afternoon, when kids have energy to spare, dinner is being prepared and the last thing they want to do is settle down, listen, and do what the teacher says.

Largely due to LaLa's distinctively stubborn and highly charged emotional personality (gee, I wonder where she may have inherited this genetic trait from?), there often ensues quite a battle of wills to inspire her into class with a semblance of decorum. Minor fits are thrown, complaints of the evil rigors of ballet class abound, and incessant whining and crying ensues.

Pleasant.

But God, with traditional brutal grace, allowed me a new glimpse into this phenomenon today.

You see, I work part time as a Real Estate broker. It is an occupation I have held for almost a decade, and usually manage to juggle as healthily as possible with being a full-time Mom, running an out of state family business, singing in worship team, taking care of our home and the 724 other daily things involved with managing daily life. It can also be stressful, demanding, and time intensive. However, there are days like today when the demands of the job crank up to the highest notch and the sheer volume of required activity, the pressure of the expectations and needs of others crushes in on me until I flirt with the kind of exhaustion that wages war for the victory over my spirit. On those days, I feel myself struggling to stretch myself to meet the requirements I face. I tend to ebb into a general sense of crankiness, of short-fused malaise that translates into a bit of grouchy frustration with myself and others.

On those days, like today, I become frayed and impatient. Time is my enemy, there are few moments of rest, and seemingly endless streams of people~tasks~commitments that I felt quite a bit like an obligated yo-yo. Today, by noon, joy was struggling to break through the clouds. I was SO emotionally upset at having to work so hard just to tread water - just to make it through the day without letting my children down, my husband down, my clients down, my church down, our business down, my home down... I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders and allowed it to seep in and collapse me. Stress flourished. Tempers melted. I was broken and frustrated. I *hated* work. I did not want to spend one more moment of my day invested in serving the needs of anyone other than my children, didn't want one more phone call, one more appointment, one more email, one more task - ACK!! Hitting the end of my own ability and running on empty just plain depleted me and lashed at my soul. Basically, I am ashamed to admit, I threw my own little tantrum today. Granted, it cannot be seen with the naked eye - but it's a tantrum nonetheless.

This rather crummy realization of myself is such a blessing. LaLa and I share this particular failing of stress-induced emotional frustration. We are identical - broken, imperfect people who each throw our own little tantrums. Only she is five and to a certain degree, hers can be expected. Mine, at 33, though not openly demonstrative, are much harder to justify. But we have so much in common, she and I. My precious daughter who echoes so much of myself. This new discovery about frees me to more adeptly, humbly, patiently, and with more focused care - LOVE my little daughter.

And work on lengthening my own fuse on those tantrum-risk days. Lest I need to give myself a long time out.

Contrary combinations

Why is it that I cannot seem to manage to consistently compel my children to the dinner table on time, but the moment I sit down in the bathroom or try to make a phone call, they arrive with bells on from the far corners of the house or yard?

If only I could think of a proper way to combine these three activities without repulsing myself, breaking all manner of collectively accepted rules of proper sanitary food handling, or involving the person on the other end of the phone in an elaborate Pavlovian scheme.

of prices and people

Annual US Federal deficit caused by illegal immigration, 39 billion.

Annual income 53% all inhabitants of Mexico earn less than, $720.00.

The human beings caught in the middle, PRICELESS.

boycott, thoughts, and a missing pot

I am boycotting the boycott. Kind of.

The walkout, marches, protests, parades, and riled screaming: I am just not sure what the message is supposed to be when a very large, angrily chanting~in~Spanish fella shoves a green flag into my open car window as I drove LaLa to preschool this morning. He and his friends' strange but peaceful attempted blockade of the intersection was thwarted by one of about 891 million police officers on duty today. And I am left with the consistent feeling that we are a lost people. So thirsty. But yet dedicated to continually drinking from the same poisoned well. Content to slap band aids on cancer patients and call it a day.

Every human being has value in the eyes of the Lord, and we must bind ourselves to the example of scripture and love one another. Love. One. Another.

But we must not cheapen that love by redefining it to be blanket acceptance of every societal whim, replacing what is legal/illegal with what is easiest to live with or what makes most people happy. 'Righteous' and 'popular' are often antonyms, we must guard ourselves against choosing one at the expense of the other. Loving one another as Jesus exemplifies and without prejudice or boundary does not mean we must discard, disrespect, and dismantle the borders or the laws of our sovereign nations in order to do it. Loving others must not be made tantamount to a political philsophy. Loving others is not dependent upon their legal status. Loving others must not be equated to our willingness to amend laws at the demand of those who break them.

The concept of immigrants of all cultures and nations blending to form the substance of America as a "melting pot" is a brilliantly accurate, laudable vision of this nation. Both past and present. That we should each bring our own set of ingredients to add to the uniquely evolving recipe that defines what America is - the content of our soul as a nation of collected people - is a blessed GIFT for all of us, paid for by the actions, sacrifices, and lives of others. But this beautiful, traditional "melting pot" concept does necessitate the presence of the POT in the scenario, does it not? Without the structure of laws, standards of right and wrong, definitions of illegal and legal, and accepted ideals of what it means to be American which form the "pot", we have nothing to contain or facilitate the melting process within. Lately, it seems we are hellbent on throwing out the "pot" altogether. Abolishing the laws, rules, standards, criteria, and sovereignty of the nation itself destroys us all. If we toss the pot ~ if we make right, wrong and wrong, right, and if we abolish the sinews of laws, commonality, God, ideals, ethics, hope, and traditions that bind us together as a unified people ~ our nation dies. Instead of blending together in a uniquely wonderful recipe within the "pot" which is the United States of America, we become a smelly mess of unrepentant individual ingredients, burnt to a crisp on the stove. That tragic potential reality is wholly avoidable. It is up to us.

We are one people, one nation under God, with one government, one Constitution, one language, one law, one hope, one peace. We are in this together. And we must rise to the challenge of tempering grace and mercy with unity, liberty and justice for all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Historical tracking of my journey with respect to this issue:

http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/benamon/060501
http://www.mexico-child-link.org/mexico-project-work.htm

"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people." ~ Theodore Roosevelt, 1907.

“It cannot be emphasized too clearly and too often that this nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians; not on religion, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this very reason, peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum, prosperity, and freedom of worship here. ~ [Patrick Henry, May 1765 Speech to the House of Burgesses]

"Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor." ~ Romans 13:1-7

"Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled {the} law." ~ Romans 13:8

my MayDay

To know even one life has breathed easier because you lived, this is to have succeeded." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

For me, this first day of this freshly arrived May, like each first of each month over the past four years, begins with a prayer for the children who are at critical risk of extermination via abortion. Right now. Those whose lives hang in the balance at this very moment.

I began this prayer after the birth of my daughter, as a way of honoring the Lord who blessed me with her tiny, miraculous life to shepherd but for a brief time. And through whom, all things are possible, no heart is unreachable, and no miracle is unattainable. I believe there is no limit to what God can achieve, and that prayer is the most powerful mechanism for manifesting His divinity in the lives and world around us. And in our own hearts, always in need of refinement and humility, the desire to view each other through Christ's eyes.

This morning, please join me in praying for each pregnant mother who today faces this question and is considering the abortion 'option' in her soul. I pray that God will equip her with the courage, moral conviction, raw love, selflessness, humility, widsom, and unyielding support she needs to be able to place the precious sacredness of the innocent life growing within her ahead of the personal obstacles that threaten to convince her to stop her BABY'S beating heart.

I pray for changed hearts and saved lives.

Finally, I pray for those precious babies already lost. The Lord knows each of them by name. I lift my voice in hope that my life, my words, my heart may intercede on behalf of the meekest among us whose lives hang in the balance. I pray for changed hearts and saved lives. I pray for the mothers. I pray for the babies. I pray for life and against death. I pray for miracles. And I believe in a God who answers our prayers.

So I pray.

Please join me.

"Before I formed you in the belly, I knew you. Before you came forth out of the womb, I sanctified you. I have appointed you a prophet to the nations." ~ Jeremiah 1:5