A Heart-Filled Holiday

So.

I've been on holiday for a bit.

...One of those holidays that was not so much a holiday as a time out. But it has been a necessary evil: a break from all things blogging, though I have missed both this exercise (and the benefits and soul stretching that accompany it) but also the people I've managed to bump into and intersect lives with because of the blogosphere.

I was delighted to see that some of you actually checked in here, looking for me or searching and lamenting in my general direction, whilst I was absent. Your posts and presence caused my heart yearn to come back and be a part of this sphere once more.

So, off we go: Lachen is back. And content as a clam about it.

*** note to Brandon: please resist the temptation to launch into a silent existential dilemma in your mind right now about whether or not clams - or any shellfish - are actually content. It's just a phrase. Deal. ***

If you'll forgive the sophomoric outline format, I offer a 10-point update on the notable happenings in the life and ponderings of Lachen since I last left you in rainy February:



1.) It's amazing to me how quickly time can pass.

2.) I have learned to slow down, almost as a reaction to my first observation, to actively savor the moments of my life as they happen, not in retrospect.

3.) Year one of kindergarten is behind us at Casa Lachen. And my daughter has been an incredibly strong and resilient human being through this year. I daresay she weathered it far better than her Mama, who is still struggling with the realization that her baby child is going to be entering first grade in a little less than a month. I never believed myself capable of the degree of sappy emotional longings as I have encountered in myself over the course of the last 12 months as school becomes a constant in our lives. I have also begun to rebel against it, like a caged bird will often bite those who come near enough to his beak. It's my own little passive-aggressive way of battling the forces of this world, however worthy and beneficial they may be, that seek to separate my child from me before I'm ready. I doubt I'll EVER be fully ready for my children to grow up, even as I delight in their discoveries and triumphs, nurse their wounds, and hold their hands through struggles they encounter along the way.

4.) We are now officially DIAPER FREE! After a rather frustrating combination of amusement and exasperation, sprinkled with prayerful resignation, LITTLE MAN (our son has been renamed in the blogosphere!) has taken it upon himself to learn to use the potty with consistency. We are celebrating Day 48 of this phenomenon and are taking both kids to Disneyland at the end of the summer to officially mark the momentous occasion.

5.) I had two heart surgeries.

I know.

Both procedures were unexpected and not related to heart disease, cholesterol, or any of the usual suspects that permeate when it comes to the stereotypical scenarios that pepper the brain when it comes to the words "heart surgery". They were, in fact, two failed attempts to close a congenital hole that was discovered between my ventricles, causing two strokes in the last year. Oh, yes, I forgot about that part: I had 2 strokes, too. Both not catastrophic and both relatively recoverable, although I bear scars (which I find personally humorous, not daunting, so all is well). I have bounced back from all of this remarkably and with the miraculous spirit of the LORD JESUS CHRIST at the helm of the healing process. And - the big one - even though my incredibly capable and caring doctors were unable to close this hole with all the medical might and mastery they could throw at it over the course of 2 separate surgical interventions, GOD stepped in. By 6 weeks post-op (the second time around), my body had somehow managed to grow scar tissue in an unpredictable manner, which ended up sealing the hole on one side!

To state that this is a miracle is a gross understatement of the TRUTH. This is a BIG, FAT MIRACLE. According to my cardiologists, this type of spontaneous closure has never happened before in the documented medical history of this particular type of hole. The doctor-types in charge of my care were utterly and delightfully astounded.

We are rejoicing. Copper was extremely anxious throughout this ordeal, as it is often harder to be the one in the benign state of observation rather than the active state of participation, when events like this unfold. It was hard on him, and he is thrilled to be on the other side of these last few months.

I, on the other hand, have been cloaked in a transforming sense of contentment, peace, and joy from start to finish. Though this was a scary, I just did not have a spirit of fear or of being daunted and overwhelmed. None of that occurred to me, actually. I just felt completely assured and filled with PEACE. If that sounds like a trite, uncompelling sentiment that is often heard from Christians, I do apologize for my lack of creativity. But I assure you that when faith is placed in God, and we TRULY let go, He will be our strength and will direct our paths.I have learned to live the verse that promises us that "When we are weak, He is strong".

Amen to that.


And the bonus in all of this is that, from now on, all my moments of unfortunate clumsiness, spelling errors, or general brain malaise will have a built-in scapegoat. :) That's always fun.



6.) I was in line at midnight on July 21 to pick up the 7th and last installment of the Harry Potter series. And within 6 hours, had utterly devoured it and was pretty satisfied. With the novel and with myself for powering through it nonstop. I've now manged to read it again twice since then, and it gets richer for me with every read. I am an unabashed fan of the whole Harry Potter shabang. Though my mother is convinced that the books are from the devil, and my husband chuckled at me as I left to purchase my 752 pages of literary candy in a yellow dust jacket with the face of a child on Christmas morning, I am triumphant. I enjoy the books, the movies, and the field trips of imagery my mind embarks on as I read. I ponder, wonder, appreciate, think, imagine, and create within myself as I embrace JK Rowling's painstakingly created wizard world. I admit to my own sense of delight as I approached our local bookstore at 11:30 pm and saw hoardes of people - young and old alike - gathered in raptured anticipation. Not to glimpse a movie star or attend a rock concert, but to buy a BOOK. And READ... and read, and read.


It made my heart smile. Which is a good thing.

7.) I am still drinking Dr. Pepper regularly.

I don't even know if this was a necessary update, as it is a constant in the world of Lachen. My children, God bless them, even gave me a Dr. Pepper T-shirt for Mother's Day, which delighted me. Some Moms just get flowers.

8.) Jesus rocks.

Another unnecessary update. Just gives me an opportunity to shout it out again.

9.) I am semi-seriously thinking about starting a 3rd legitimate political party, to fit somewhere in the middle between the two choices that dominate America at the moment. I find myself an alien in my own country when it comes to the political and social currents running in either direction.

10.) I took the break from the blog, in part, to give myself some much craved REST.

I am a sprinter at heart. Though I lament to admit it. I have always been better at running unyeildingly fast and hard for short distances than plodding smoothly along at a slower pace that allows for a longer race. I find myself wishing I was more of a long-distance person because I have indelible respect for those who are and whose lives bear the unmistakable signs of that capacity. But as time creates wisdom in my life, I find myself embracing what I am by default and endeavoring to sharpen and change it as I can. I am a sprinter - when I have reached the end of a particularly difficult leg in life, I need to stop, rest, and find the still place of quiet before I begin again. Resting like this nourishes me and it integral to my life. It's one of the reasons that there is never a time in my life that I do not have a vacation planned - even if it is a year in advance. It gives me a goal, a destination, something to sprint towards.

Because I know that at the end of my race, there will be a time when I can rest.

The months prior to my blog break had demanded of me so heavily that I needed to carve out a place of rest for myself before merging back onto life's freeway, refueled and ready to roll.