the sin dance

The more Christian people I talk with and listen to, the more I open myself to the realization that modern-day structured church has the potential to hinder, more than foster or encourage, transparent accountability among us. It breaks me to contemplate how much in need of shepherding we bunch of sheep currently are.

Notwithstanding the virulent attack on Jesus-freaks from the secular world ~ which has a field day whenever one of us stumbles, and throws a party when one of us falls altogether ~ we aren't sucessfully emphasizing the importance of the grace of Jesus in the equation of salvation, not the glorious flawlessness with which we lead our lives. Definitely, we honor God by striving to follow His lead, teachings, wisdom, and submit our wills to His in all ways. But by the very nature of ourselves and at the crux of the promises we base our lives upon,

WE
ARE
GOING
TO
FAIL.

We are going to sin. We are guaranteed a lifetime of "missing the mark."

Why? Well, shucks. Because I am such a Biblical genius, I'll venture a guess: possibly because with each continuing example of our own inability to achieve for ourselves the elusive and utterly retarded goal of human perfection, we reveal our utter and total need for Jesus.

We are, in basic terms, fairly well deluded when we pursue God with one side of our heart while cultivating the illusion of our own self-made perfection on the other.

I say we should not live in fear of sin. We should not revel in the celebration of others sins as though we have never stepped on the same exact landmines. We do such a lovely job of seperating ourselves from one another by ranking our sin on a sliding scale, don't we? Choosing to pursue homosexuality in defiance of the Word of God is no different from choosing to pursue lying to the extent where it defines one's character. While one becomes a liar, the other becomes sexually depraved. Both equally sin. Both equally miss the mark. Both equally fall under the blanket of "needing grace" in order to be restored in the eyes of the Lord. There is evidence that one brand of sin - the sexual natured sin - is called out as especially treacherous and deplorable by God. But if we use that excuse to somehow excuse ourselves from the various insundry manners in which we manage to screw up, we fail to deal in truth.

And we begin slapping band-aids on cancer patients, attempting to solve a systemic infection by its individual manifestations on our body as they erupt, one sin at a time. No wonder it seems we are running around so often, putting out fires.

Individual sins are not the point. The deeper issue of sin is the point. We should count on it, look for it, expect it, celebrate our miraculous salvation from it.

Because isn't the whole point that we will never make it on our own? That we need Jesus, period? And that accepting Christ is not a paved path to human perfection, but salvation from the cost of our IMperfections?

Certainly the fall of some of our more visable leadership is an example of how we tend to build a Hollywood facade of what "Christianity" should be in order to avoid that dreaded pitfall of being called hypocrites or utter failures. Of having the world laugh and point at our every mistake, bad decision, or choice based on human moral depravity. Though we MUST aim to be transparent, to deny ourselves in the process of picking up our crosses and following Him, should part of that equation be the denial of the reality of our flaws? You know, the very same flaws that cause us to fall on our knees and NEED JESUS IN THE FIRST PLACE? The Lord we share can and will love us and use us, despite our flaws and failings. He promises to. Because Jesus did not come to save perfect people from the perils of perfection. He came to save the broken and lost, to restore a fallen creation to the lustre of His divine intention. By grace. Not by anything the broken, wretched, lost creatures managed to eeek out.

If we can all begin from the starting point of being collectively lost, can we not savor, be grateful for, and be utterly transformed by the process of being found together? Instead of feeling as though we are already miraculously supposed to know the way and lead others by our own volition? What a miserably warped version of the gospel that is!

If the church allows us to duck accountability with one another, what, exactly are we doing on Sunday mornings (and sometimes Wednesday and Saturdays, too?) Are we dressing up, singing songs, and putting on appearances? That sounds lovely. If you add some guys in tuxedos playing instruments, a few singers or dancers, and more elaborate sets (although that last one is somewhat negotiable with the interiors of some churches these days) it sounds awfully much like a night at the theatre. Don't we owe one another more? Don't we owe Jesus more?

I vote yes.

I am decidedly not a cheering fan of the whole "emerging" movement, or the philosophies of the Campolo's, Falwell's, Robertson's, Crouches, or Spong's of our world. Grand movements and brilliant philosophies as a rule, usually fail to impress me. I find deeply scary stuff resonating from the liberal/anti-traditional/fringe side of the pew, and I equally cringe each time I hear a pastor cry out for the rejection of a certain brand of sinners in the perpetuation of the grand lie that "our way is the only way". It is JESUS' way that is the only way. No one has a trademark on that perfection exepct Jesus. Thus, I am a fan of Jesus. Unaltered, unaided, and unapologetic. Because it is on His wings alone I fly, and by His grace alone I live.

When we imagine ourselves to be better than we are as Christians, we devalue the gift of the Cross, don't we? And thus, we begin building that beautiful flimsy facade about ourselves that looks ever so lovely. As long as no one really cares to look beyond the surface and we don't bother to invite them to.

I stand in awe of the church body our family is now blessed to be a part of, allowing transparency and raw, unhoned real people to be welcomed, loved, challenged, and sharpened like pieces of milled iron. But I am learning that, as long as I remain concerned with how other people view me and what other people think of me, yeilding to the temptation of hiding behind a more flawless version of myself is always a risk. So as I dig deep and suck out the marrow of my church community and especially an amazing, newly developing relationship with a sister in Christ with whom I can be utterly authentic, I simultaneously guard myself against the risk of living life as though I've got it together, rather than the truth: that I love and am loved by the One whose version of "together" doesn't require me to.

And I pray for those who are struggling with a false doctrine and laboring under the delusion that being a Christian means that you must be - or appear to be - perfect at all costs.

What an endless race after a rather cruelly dangling carrot.

"The danger is to put the emphasis on the effect instead of on the cause - ‘It is my obedience that puts me right with God, my consecration.’ Never! I am put right with God because prior to all, Christ died...When I turn to God and by belief accept what God reveals I can accept, instantly the stupendous Atonement of Jesus Christ rushes me into a right relationship with God, and by the supernatural miracle of God’s grace I stand justified, not because I am sorry for my sin, not because I have repented, but because of what Jesus has done. The spirit of God brings it with a breaking, all-over light, and I know, though I do not know how, that I am saved." ~ Oswald Chambers

"God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ by grace you have been saved, and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:4-10