Dysfunction Junction

Attending high school at the intersection of gang violence and moral~bankruptcy~disguised~as~progressive~ arts taught me to be wary toward any public education system, with particular emphasis on my own home state.

The size of my high school graduating class quite nearly eclipses the population of the current town we live in. During my tenure, there were two drive-by shootings, a random dead body found on the football field on campus, more injuries caused by gang fights than any sporting or other endeavor, and you had better have your backpack bungee corded around you or risk it being yanked from your shoulders as you walked through the halls. Being the inner city bastion of excellence that it was (yes, that was sarcasm), the prevailing plan for turning this school around was to integrate it with a bunch of G.A.T.E. students from Arts Intensives all over town. Which they did, two years prior to my arrival on campus as an appropriately bewildered but undaunted fourteen year old.

So, inner city gang infested jungle, meet ballerinas, opera singers, playwrights, and painters. It was dysfunction junction from the start. Certainly an odd marriage and destined for clashes. Which there were, in spades. My education was achieved at the expense of my innocence, my purpose, my hope. The end result was systematic, educationally mediocre waste of brilliant potential.

I was blessed with a bevvy of fascinating friends, challenging and rewarding relationships and experiences, and did learn a thing or two between ages 14 and 18. But given the environment, those were consolation prizes. I wonder often what I woulc have been ~ could have been ~ if the cultivation was more than it was. If I were encouraged to be ~ taught to be ~ allowed to be ~ more than I am.

Jumping ahead in our story...

My first born child, LaLa, turned five last month. By ye olde USA standards these days, this means that kindergarten is on tap, come autumn. This also means that I have spent the last 12 months visiting every school within 15 miles of our home, and researching private, charter, and homeschooling options. Essentially, I have been looking for a solution to scholastic mediocracy while seeking an ointment to heal my heart. I am not ready. This is, I'm sure, not an unusual pronouncement from any first-time Mommy whose child is about to enter kindergarten. Are any of us are truly ready for the incremental movements of our children towards independence and thus, away from our protective embrace? But marry this apprehension with a phenomenally lackluster personal experience with public education, fear of the unknown and potential social bereftness of home schooling, and inability to pony up the cash to finance a private education... and you begin to see the corner I am feeling painted into.

It is a lonely and miserable corner, to be sure. Right around the bend from Dysfunction Junction, as a matter of fact. I am scared to make a mistake that sacrifices BEST for GOOD ENOUGH. I am scared for my child. I am scared of being scared.

When did we collectively decide that five year old children are best taught away from their homes 6-7 hours per day, five days per week, in the company of 20 other five-year olds and only one adult present to teach them? Who came up with that plan? And, when did we decide that educating our children is best achieved in a non-organic classroom setting, as opposed to natural settings? When did we decide that it is best to banish individual morals and ethics from a classroom, and replace with the apparently more palatable sandblasted version, which appeases yet confuses? When did we make it par for the course to teach children in classes by age, so that they are learning the same lessons with the same methods at the same pace based on the fact that they were all born about the same time? When did we decide that what we need is MORE time in the classrooms (more school programs, mandatory preschool ~ a lovely little initiative on the ballot we Californians are voting for this week), instead of more time spent learning about the world around us by actually immersing our children in the world around us under our watchful, caring instruction?

Nearly every parent I have spoken to expresses similar reservations about the public (and even private) school options here. It is not ideal. It is OK. But it is not excellent. In fact, it is detrimental in some major components and takes FAR too much time to achieve FAR too little actual education. And that's to say nothing of the conflict with morality, family values, faith, or religion experienced by some students while trying to merge what they learn in school with what they learn at home or ar church.

Nearly every parent has reservations about the garden variety public school system here. So why do we just keep sending our kids? Yes, we fret, we ruminate, we ponder, we hesitate, we anguish. But we keep sending our kids.

I realize that some parents don't. The unyeilding minority of us. Those who've chosen to approach their childrens' education differently. They homeschool, unschool, private school, charter school... as I am learning, there are ample satisfying options out there. But they involve a leap of faith. Not because these alternative educational structures don't make sense, don't hit higher on the mark towards educational excellence, don't give more freedom in curricula and hands-on learning to the individual student, and achieve greater results in less time. But because they are different, unusual, untried (by me), overtly unpopular, not the norm, or a number of other reasons. But not because they are inherently better at fostering teaching and facilitating learning than traditional public school.

I am in awe of the parents who come to similar conclusions about the public education system as I have drawn and who have actually had the courage to DO SOMETHING about it. May I have the courage and the committment to be among you, whatever my convictions may lead us to eventually choose for our little girl. May I not follow the madding crowd for whatever get-off-the-hook weasel reasoning I coerce myself into believing, or be caught up in the periphery and the peer pressure around me. May I do what is right for my children, no matter what fears I face that threaten my resolve. No matter what, period.

May I rebel against dysfunction junction and instead pursue the avenue of excellence for my beloved LaLa. And for my little man, Dash, as he is coming up not far behind her. May I teach my children by example and always pursue what is best vs. what is traditionally accepted.

Please pray for us.