Inappropriate use for duct tape #17

About a month ago, our friend and dive boat Captain, Tyler, was enjoying a late night party with friends aboard a boat anchored off the shores of south Maui. As is usual, several lines were baited and cast, and the rods were in place in case the fish were biting. Sure enough, deep into the night, the line nearest Tyler snapped its' bands, indicating a fish on the hook. Tyler reeled it several times and then yanked the heavy catch up onto the deck.

Only it wasn't a fish. It was a shark.

A white~tipped reef shark, to be exact.

While trying to remove the hook from the shark and get him overboard and back into the sea, Tyler flipped him over onto his back. Apparently, this was not appreciated by the shark and/or he was just in a foul mood from his overall "fishing" experience, and he grouchily bit Tyler's arm. Tyler insists that the shark was small and that his teeth were so sharp that he did not even notice the bite until his arm began gushing.

The shark was tossed back into the ocean by some of the other guys on board and the boat returned to shore as quickly as it was able.

Tyler, whose job involves driving a boat and leading scuba trips for groups vacationing divers each day, did NOT go to the hospital, as on might expect a rational human being to do after being bitten by a shark. Instead, he caught a few hours sleep and then reported for work as usual at 6:00 am. He had DUCT TAPED his shark bite together. Duct tape, people.

After work, he ate lunch, did some errands and bought groceries, slept some more, and only THEN stopped by the hospital at about 9:00 pm, where his gaping wound required more than a dozen stitches and removal of ample infected tissue. The doctor was less than pleased. Imagine that. Hard to understand a doctor's annoyance with an infected shark bite wound closed with duct tape and then liberally doused in sea water all day long. Unreasonable hack.

Note to Tyler: We love you, man. But there is a moment when honorable work ethic does interfere with common sense. In your case, this moment can be tracked to the application of duct tape to an open shark wound. You are so lucky, my friend. This goes way beyond proper duct tape useage technique and is more of a "do not attempt this at home" moment. Even if your now~healed, otherwise assumably garden variety scar does bear a worthy story that you relate with unabashed jubilance and a hearty degree of "big~fish~war~story pride.