thirty-two

32 Years Ago today, my 21-year old mother was enormous and uncomfortably pregnant with a 2 week overdue me. By evening's end the follwing day, her firstborn child came into the world. All chubby, halo blonde, 9 pounds 3 ounces of me.

I love birthdays. Always have.

Mine, other people's, our family's pets' ~ all birthdays. I don't bother to pretend, like some I know, to despise aging. It just does not occur to me to be negatively distracted by the passing of time and the treachery it inevitably does to our minds and bodies. Age spots, stretch marks, crows feet, pudges and pooches ~ ah, so what? 32 years romping around this planet, being in love with and being loved by my best friend, witnessing miracles and even participating in a few, giving birth twice, waking up to deep hugs from my daughter and sloppy overjoyed kisses from my son, snuggling on the couch, scuba diving, poker nights, singing praise songs in chapel, Christmas mornings, really funny jokes, rainstorms... all of it compares rather favorably to the fact that my rear end seems to be developing a rather disturbing relationship to gravity against my will these days. There is just so much I'd rather focus on, rather be thankful for, rather celebrate (even while I do Pilates try to hoist my behind back to where it once belonged)...

LIFE.

I love that we all get to re-open and celebrate the gift of our lives over again each year. I enjoy this process of growing older, richer, deeper, wiser, and more funny looking with each passing annual cycle. I am grateful for my 32 years here and know in my heart that my life matters and has made a difference in the lives of others and that I have striven to make God proud. I stand refreshed at this threshold of beginning my 33rd year. I genuinely feel butterfly-type excitement and contentedness volleying for place in my spirit. I wonder what this next year will bring. I hope for abundance, for firsts in my children's lives, for joy, for solace in my husband's work environment, and for a slower pace overall.

I hope to bask in purpose and light. I hope for the tears I shed to be far outweighed by the laughter and songs I sing. I hope the lessons I can teach my children are as meaningful to them as those I learn from them. I hope the love I offer to others is received in the spirit of my intentions. I hope Copper and I get to enjoy one another this much to the end of our days. I hope the God I love is glorified in my life and heart. I hope I bring joy to others and share myself more. I hope I never compromise truth. I hope my heart will always be open to the hearts of others. I hope my sister and brother in law finally are able to come back home from service overseas. I hope my brother's new marriage eclipses their dreams. I hope to learn. I hope for peace. I hope my sweet family remains safe, thriving, and blessed.

I hope.

Happy Birthday to me! Since I plan to be nowhere near the computer tomorrow ~ engrossed in jolly birthday frolicking ~ please forgive me as I blow out he candles here tonight. I am jazzed up to be 32, and ever grateful for my life. No elegantly wrapped present I have ever received has brought me the degree of satisfying joy and abundance that I get to taste at the dawn (well, ideally a bit AFTER dawn) of a brand new fresh, never-lived-in-before day. What an unparalleled blessing it is just to be able to live.

32 years old tomorrow. I look forward with almost giddy expectation to filling the unwritten pages with yet untaken journeys, meeting yet unknown friends along the way, and having my life refined in yet unfathomed ways.

I think I need to begin sending my Mom a card on my birthday rather than the other way around. 9 pounds, 3 ounces is no delicate flower.