ClinBama? A tale of frostbitten bikini wearers

So, anyone want to take a vote for exactly how long it takes before Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama join forces, combining their Election 2008 hopes into one uber-ticket: HillBar? Or Clinbama?

Rolls rather trippingly off the tongue, doesn't it?

In the last 48 hours, I have heard quite a bit of actual news, and even more of the requisite ponderances /opinions / commentary that passes for actual news these days, about Senator Hillary Clinton's strident entry into the 2008 Presidential Election Race. She's "in, and she's in to win!", evidently. I find myself responding to the news with a familiar, unnerving sensation that hit me this week as I visited a Target store for the first time since Christmas. The store was stripped bare of every vestige of winter whatsoever, and was decked out with a rows and rows of the latest and greatest bikinis, summer clothes, suntan enhancers, and beach umbrellas.

Bikinis.

In January.

Clearly, considering I went into Target for another fireplace log to heat my house against the 24 degree weather, what the store is trying to sell me does not meet my needs. To the contrary, they are missing the mark big time.

So, too, are these political messages in JANUARY, 2007, aimed to draw our attention to an election that will happen in NOVEMBER, 2008. Good grief - give it a rest already, all of you! You may not have noticed, but we're kinda busy right now with actual immediate obligations to humanity that we are trying to attend to: The war, the children dying of hunger, thirst, preventable disease and poverty, the AIDS pandemic, and horribly pointless genocide (such as in Darfur) all over the world. Those in our own neighborhoods who cannot afford to feed, clothe, and care for their own families. The archaic tax system in this nation that punishes, not supports, Americans and discourages hard work, savings, and charity. The toxins we continue to pour into our air, water, and soil - polluting the very elements that support life. The precious children who are killed before they draw breath in the barbaric, inexcusable practice of abortion-by-convenience. The children who are forced into slavery and sexual exploitation all over the Indo-Asian continent and beyond. The random guys from such groups as Al Qaeda, PLO, Hamas, Abu Sayaff, Hezbollah, Al Aqsa Martyr's Brigade who keep running around the globe, blowing people up.

All of it more worthy of our attention right now than your political aspirations. There are mountains of problems that face us imminently as people, as Americans, and inhabitants of one connected planet? Clearly, the reality is that it is bitterly COLD outside. But on the TV, what do we see? Bikinis.

The act of voting for an individual to represent us as our President is no longer a guarantee of lasting solutions to any of problems that face us all. Thus, I find myself quite unimpressed with this Election 2008 hoopla. And even less so with would-be Presidential candidates that capitalize on the poor state of things as a means to bolster support for their proposed brand of solutions - their bikinis, if you will - their way of doing things, which they assure us, will serve to rescue us all! Personally, I refuse to vote for any individual who revels in laying blame for the current problems on anyone but themselves, but is reticent to actually jump in and DO SOMETHING. Or who bristles at all proposed solutions pursued by those with the wrong initial (D) or (R) behind their name on the Congressional roster.

For me, all this politics talk is premature by a long shot, and accomplishes little more than to leave a bitter tang in my mouth. Seriously, folks, it is minus 78 degrees outside and they are thrusting the approximate 4 inches of brightly hued fabric tied together with dental floss that apparently passes for swimwear at us, and expecting a rapt audience? Um guys, the timing is off. I am just not ready to think about a certain-to-be-heated Presidential election which is over 18 months away, frankly. I realize that there is a relentless business to politics whose grind drones on regardless of the sentiments of the constituency it would aim to "represent" and "serve", which are, at best, WEARY. But I cannot be expected to tune in with any degree of concentrated effort, to this politics machine, from now until November 2008, when all of this comes to a climax and actually matters.

It's disconcerting to be starting this whole circus this early, if you ask me. No matter what Hillary or Barack or any of the rest of the field of candidates do or say right now, I just can't be bothered to think about the strategy, politicking, sound-byting, jockeying, or positioning until the actual election is a littler nearer - at least within the same calendar year, OK?

So, a quick note to ClinBama and all other 2008 Presidential hopefuls: Keep this simple concept in mind, guys: Bikinis sell a lot better in August than in January.