The valley of the falls

Fallible: amiss, awry, bad, blamable, blemished, botched, broken, cracked, damaged, defective, deficient, distorted, erroneous, fallacious, faulty, flawed, frail, human, impaired, imperfect, imprecise, inaccurate, inadequate, incomplete, inexact, injured, insufficient, invalid, lame, maimed, malfunctioning, marred, mortal, sick, unfit, unreliable, unsound, warped, weak.

Fibromyalgia: medical events resulting in the acute recognition, through humbling daily phenomena, the depths of your own body's fallibility

Lachen: Rejoicing in God's nearness through this unusual journey, as my body seems to be going on strike at rather inopportune moments again.

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I have deliberately not updated the blogosphere on my medical situation for awhile because I am hesitant to focus attention on it, frankly, as though talking about it openly somehow makes it more real. And since I am emerging from a period of time delightfully bereft of intolerable levels of pain, medical catalysts, injuries, or doctor visits, it has been an appropriate time to give myself a break from this topic. However, as I sense that temporary but blissful state of grace ebbing and have begun to encounter pain again as I undertake simple, everyday tasks, I again confront this condition head on. Even as I fight this with all my might and want so badly to be healed from it - to find the way out of the pain that accompanies such little things as getting up from a seated position or grasping a cup, I also have this strange sense of peace about the Firbromyalgia, Reynaud's Disease, and Migraine Disorder combination that grips the edges of my body and occasionally shakes me.

I desire to live in harmony with this disease, denying nothing, but also in relentless pursuit of God's total and utter ability to take this cup from me if it is His will. Evidently, it is not His plan for me to be healed from this... yet.

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So, while I pursue healing, I also find peace in these present places of unhealth. Because I am not alone in this Valley, and this leg of the journey, however unpleasant it is for me physically at this very moment, is not without a purpose beyond my understanding or appreciation.

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That is enough to get me through to the other side of this particular mountain. Where I've heard there are some greener pastures. And maybe even a glorious palm tree studded beach.