F.I.B.'s + P.I.T.B = J.D.F.T.T.

OK, so the F.I.B. terrorists strike again. Well, they don't strike. They plan to strike, get ready to strike, but manage to fumble and get ratted out, and the Brit's nail their collective behinds before any more innocent human beings perish on exploding airplanes. Sadly, these are the days we live in, where the clear and present threat of liquid bombs in the hands of F.I.B.'s. is not something of a Hollywood Bruckheimer film, but our collective, international reality.

Busy, busy, busy little F.I.B. terrorists.

An F.I.B., you ask? What the heck is an F.I.B., Lachen?

Well, F.I.B., you see, stands for Fascist Islamic Bastard. Now before you react in anger or shock with one of the following requisite and expected 3 protest utterances to my using this phrase, I will offer these pre-emptive rebuttals:

1.) Protest One: But Lachen, "bastard" is a vulgar curse word and totally unbecoming a woman who says she wants to live a life in harmony with Christ's example!

"Bastard" means, at its heart, a child born illegitimately, out of the family structure, and without the inheritance guaranteed therein. (I do not mean this as a slight towards ANY of the single parents I know and love and their blessed children I adore - this is a philosophical discourse). In seeking to somehow accurately define the morally and bankrupt souls who run around the planet trying to blow themselves up nearest to as many of us as possible in order to effect a more deadly mass murder, it is dead on accurate. These people are only unto themselves. They have no God, no religion, no family, no faith, no morals that are collectively held by anyone except themselves. They do not speak for Islam or for a country or ethnicity. They act only as illegitimate barbarians, borrowing tenets from Islam and methods from Hitler in continuing efforts to cover their own barren souls with something that sounds bigger than they know they are.

They are illegitimate. They exist outside the structure and boundaries we acknowledge as collectively, historically, and morally suitable to qualify for inclusion under the banner of "humanity".

They are, in all sense of the word, "bastards."

And you're right - I aim not to use curse words in general. I have failed miraculously at times and repented for each utterance. I don't believe vulgarity reflects terribly well on the intelligence of the one from whose mouth pours those filthy words, and I certainly do not find it reflective of Jesus Christ for me to go around calling people He created, bad names. But my use of "bastard" is akin to calling a dog, a dog. A fish, a fish. A blonde thirty-three year old woman, a blonde thirty-three year old woman. It is simply an accurate manner of classifying these terrorist guys, not a means of degradation or vulgarity. It is not disparity, it is definition.

2.) Protest Two: Oh no, Lachen! You're stereotyping all Muslims and the religion of Islam by this one group of terrorist wackos. You're displaying ignorance.

First of all, if I can't call them wackos, neither can you. And please don't call me ignorant - ignorance is what causes people to board planes with liquid bombs, not what causes the rest of us to engage in conversation about that stark reality.

Secondly, the deeply held beliefs about the religion and practice of Islam I hold and have shared with you all, which are drawn from my understanding of and daily immersion in Biblical truth and love of God, are not applicable here. I believe it is a big fat lie. Salvation is only through Jesus and Jesus + ANYTHING ELSE is a big fat lie.

But aside from that, this whole "blowing up of planes" trend in the Terrorist Weekly Playbook has only to do with Islam in that these Evian-suicide-bomber-dudes claim Islam as their rallying cry, Allah as their author, and Mohammed as their leader. Well, Mohammed and Osama, that is. Lovely little combination, that: ancient, historical figure and religious prophet meets modern day genocidal maniac. Try making sense of that explosive juxtaposition. The mental and spiritual exercise may lead you to some interesting forays.


FascistIslamic is one word in my definition. There is Islam, and then there is the radical barbary of terrorism that FascistIslam represents.

If these bomb-happy guys were a bunch of lunatic Christians or overzealous Jews or lost Atheists, the initials by which I refer to them would change, corresponding to the religion they are hijacking as their "cause". It would become "F.C.B.'s" or "F.J.B.'s" or "F.A.B.'s". Because this is not about Islam or any religion at all, since these people exist outside of any acknowledged or accepted family of religious beliefs and practices I am aware of on this planet. Certainly, no legitimately established religion, church, mosque, temple, teachings, or tradition advocates the senseless unmitigated murder of as many people as possible in the name of God, other than the rare but rabidly violent radical bizzaro sectarian fringes from which these terrorists hail.

3.) Protest Three: But Lachen, isn't that a dismissive way of looking at these guys? Isn't the term "F.I.B." rather flippant and not loving? Isn't there another way to address this issue?

Sure. You're right: it is a bit flippant, and there are lots of other ways of approaching this. But it is not dismissive. And it gets me to the heart of the matter immediately.

Using the term F.I.B. is my way of realizing that when people are lost, without family, faith, or foundation, they really do feel cast away in the world - like bastard orphans. When they do not know Christ, know hope, know truth - I can understand how they might feel tempted to buy themselves out of this life with a terrorist act of quasi-religious "martyrdom". I can see the scales in their impressionable, passionate, zealous, poisoned minds balancing the reality of an ordinary, stifled, life based in legalism and the attempt to achieve the sacred amidst the profane here on earth vs. the larger-than-life promises of a bevy of 1000 virgins waiting for them in paradise after they have "martyred" themselves and taken out a few hundred others with them. I can see that, with nothing live for, these individuals are choosing something to die for.

I see all of that. Not only with my eyes, but with my heart.

And I am reminded that, if we really want to know the solution to this rampant death-mongering we've got going in the world lately, we need to be saturated in and offering in spades - the hope that only comes from one source: Jesus. Because it is THE ONLY THING that will heal the hearts of the wicked and lost and encourage those of us who find ourselves in the crosshairs of the violent expression of that lost wicknedness, and are becoming a bit paralyzed by our fear and forgetting to love.

When I write about the F.I.B's, I am starkly reminded of my own humanity - my own basest instinct to seek for these guys the VERY WORST possible retribution for their plans to destroy human beings. I would wish for them to perish from the face of the earth: for God's wrath to be poured out on them or for them to be sucked up into some F.I.B. vortex or something. Obliteration. Righteous retribution. Salvation from their evil.

But wait a minute. That's what my human heart, Lachen's omnipresent sin nature, says. That's not what God says.

Yes, ultimately, God is coming back to get us. He promises that He will not leave us here indefinitely to suffer, struggle, and die. He assures us of our inheritance, and He assures us of His enduring love and a plan for our lives. A PLAN. Authored by the LORD! Isn't that especially comforting right now, when the world seems to be writing it's own playbook in complete absence of a workable, long term plan? GOD HAS A PLAN. He has not forgotten that we are here, loving others as He taught us, and trying to be lighthouses to the life-altering, miraculous fact that there IS a way out of this mess.

It's called Jesus. And it is available to ANYONE. Even F.I.B.'s. But they'll never know that if the Lachen plan of suck-them-into-a-vortex-of-righteous-obliteration is put into effect. This is yet another reason why I am glad I don't run the world. Because acting on my human instincts would so often be a grievous affront to my Lord and would get us all into a heap of trouble.

The truth is: the F.I.B.'s are a pain in the behind (P.I.T.B.), but Jesus loves them too. Moreover, He died for them too (J.D.F.T.T. - see the pieces in the title-of-this-post puzzle fall into place?) so that they may also inherit the Kingdom of God. These same people that want to kill us are who HE DIED FOR, too. These guys running around with hate-filled hearts and agendas of righteous murder are HIS CREATION, too. Are HIS CHILDREN, too. Are not throwaways. Are not orphans. Are not worthless. They may be pains in the behind, they may be fascist bastards, but they are God's children too. They just don't know it yet.

Maybe we are too angry. I certainly am. Maybe we are too busy. Guilty again. Maybe we have lost our faith or lost the taste of sharing Christ with people who most need what He offers, but are the least likely candidates to open our hearts to, by our estimations. Maybe we just don't care anymore. Maybe we'd rather give them death than give them the key to everlasting life.

Maybe we've forgotten the Great Commission. Or maybe it is just back burnered. Maybe we have forgotten how to love. Or maybe that is reserved for people who don't seek to kill us. Certainly that is not how Jesus loved - even to the end, seeking God's pardon for those who nailed his own hands to the cross. Maybe we have forgotten how to share this bread of life we have with others.

No matter how fascist,
no matter that they are bastards,
no matter how evil,
no matter how the seek for our destruction,
no matter how foreign,
no matter...

what.

So that they too can find shelter under the wing of the Lord and be transformed: that they, too may be taught that they can exchange their bastard state for that of a beloved child, their fascist sins for the redemption of the Cross, and where they once were lost, now can be found.

Because, you see, even though F.I.B.'s are a P.I.T.B., J.D.F.T.T.