SUV for you and me

I was passed by an SUV on the freeway today, a fairly commonplace experience, even with my trademark lead foot. For sheer amusement as I drove to and from my various everyday destinations, I took note of the names of the SUV's I saw around me today:

The EXPLORER
The EXCURSION
The AVALANCHE
The TROOPER
The LANDCRUISER
The FRONTIER
The PATHFINDER
The TRIBECA
The VOYAGER
The YUKON
The CAYENNE

This is just a wee bit of silliness, is it not?

If I may, a small observation. To my analytical mind, the current SUV naming trends certainly do not represent any kind of legitimate consumer-led branding, if the auto industry really knows it's target market.

I drive an SUV. I like my SUV. I do not have a personal relationship with said SUV nor do I believe that being behind the wheel of my currently embarrassingly dusty SUV transports me out of my suburban life and into the uncharted wilderness like Grizzly Adams. The vast majority of us do not live on the frozen tundra. We are not using our vehicles to scale Mt. Aetna or roll over boulders the size of Denver. We generally are not "finding paths" to a new "frontier" in our "voyage" across the "Yukon Avalanche". Our drives are largely paved, straight, and predictable, and our destinations are rarely anything as exciting as "Denali" or as spicy as "Cayenne".

Sheesh.

We are going to the store, to the mall, to the post office. To pick up our children, drop off our children, to the dry cleaners, church, work, and home. We are essentially, I guess, enormously boring by comparison to the standard set by our cars. We so fail to live up to the connotation that is derived from the rugged, valiant, edge~of~the~universe~adrenalin~junkie names of our SUV's.

You are giving us a complex.

I suggest a more realistic approach to this whole SUV naming thing. Why not actually appeal to the market who is driving your SUV's, guys? You don't have to abandon entirely the rugged, outdoorsy thing you've got going. Just tweak it a bit so that we are driving vehicles whose names have some semblance of connection to the purpose they serve in our lives. And help us avoid developing an inferiority complex in the process. Some potentials:

Shopping mall + SUV = "The Mauler"
Freeway commute to work + SUV = "The Drudger"
Errands + SUV = "The Tasker"
Overflowing family car + SUV = "The Volcano"
Retirement + SUV = "The Freedom"

Of course in my case, considering the skyrocketing prices of SUV's these days, any new SUV I ever purchase will likely be known to me only by the title of "Second Mortgage".