Glass v.s. Mug

I do not drink alcohol. Yes, at all. Ever - well, slim to none. I've never tasted beer and there is only one type of wine I ever consume - and even then, about 1/3 of a glass once every 2 years or so. The wine is a 4% alcohol, orange desert wine from a central California distillery. Copper tells me that there is more alcohol in marinara sauce and that this "wine" is not real "wine".

We disagree. If it comes from a winery, my sweet, it's wine. Even if it is wimpy wine unworthy of the sophisticated cork-smelling and "rolling the wine around on your tongue" rituals (which I look at with a bit of a sardonic eye - can you tell?), it is still WINE. But I digress...

My no-alcohol stance is not religiously based or anything (Jesus and His boys drank wine, if you'll recall), I just don't care for the taste or smell of it, and it simply doesn't compare to the all powerful Dr. Pepper, so why bother? And so many people in my historical family lineage are alcoholics, that why risk an addiction over a beverage you don't even remotely appreciate in the first place?

That was all background so you'll understand why this is not entirely my fault but why I feel SO badly about it anyway.

My dear parents-in-law were at our home for dinner some months ago. My father in law will be 84 this weekend and is one of the most wonderful people I've ever known. He will occassionally have a vodka with orange juice with dinner (what is that called? A Wrench? A Hammer? A Screwdriver?... I know it has something to do with tools), especially on warm days, and he requested one this evening. As Copper was at the BBQ and my mother-in-law was holding JoyBoy on her lap, I offered to make it. My mother in law gave me instructions: add equal parts of vodka to equal parts orange juice in a glass, then shake it, no ice.

So I did just that. I followed the directions EXACTLY. But the glass I used was an oversized cocoa mug (no one told me this is not OK, and since we use these mugs for soda and water, it never dawned on me to use a different "glass" for something with alcohol in it). Apparently, the sheer volume of vodka in this mickey finn I inadvertently fixed for my dear Father-in-Law set him squarely on his ear. It would have been enough to fuel a fairly decent fire, from what I understand.

By the end of the meal, this precious man could not walk straight to the car and his face was the color of a ripe strawberry. He was unsteady with his movements and wobbly with his speech, yet both he and my mother in law were uncontrollably giggly about the predicament.

I was beside myself with embarrassment and apologized repeatedly, deeply worried about the fact that I had made my Father-in-Law drunk quite by accident. Fortunately, after sleeping all night, he was fine by morning. I called to check in and to apologize again in the morning, and he told me it was actually deeply funny and not to worry. He was amused. I was mortified. And now, even as I have vowed never to mix another alcoholic drink for anyone, whenever a member of my family has a long, hot day - they are quick to tell me that they need my bartending services and would I please mix their drink for them? And then they are quick to pull out the largest cup/mug/pitcher they can find to illustrate their point.

Bunch of comedians.