Four Short Years Ago

The most brilliant stream of heaven's light shined down on my life.

In the form of my firstborn child, my daughter, my angel, my heart, the light of my days even as the cause of my sleepless nights. A beacon of joy and the answer to prayer, you nestled into our hearts as you did in our welcoming arms.

Not content from the beginning with the ordinary or dull, you made your entrance early and with fanfare and deliberance we've come to know as your trademarks. After 4 weeks and 27 "official" hours of preparation for your debut, finally - at 2:00 am, you uttered your first breathy cries and changed so many lives forever. My baby girl was born. Your Daddy and I were in a state of hazy Grace and powerful love which remains to this day. Because of you.

And here you are, four years later, living your days to the fullest and bounding through life with such remarkable, fiercely intelligent zest. You have changed on the outside, little one, but your dear, sweet, seeking, caring heart continues to define you. And I am so proud of the little person you are the genuine, open, compassionate God-seeking soul you are developing.

I pray for you and dream of your future everyday.

I am blessed because of you. I am changed because of you. I am closer to God and believe in miracles because you proved that they are real and that God loves us more than we know.

I love you, precious LaLa. There are no words that are capable of capturing in full the depth of my love for you. But you come closest, because I do "love you so much that it makes me cry ~ in a good way, with tears of joy". Oh sweetie - already, you hold such wisdom in the deep well of your heart that grows with every additional moment you grace my life.

May God bless your next year abundantly and manifest His perfect will in your life. I can't believe the tiny seven pound baby I cradled is now a jubilant, bounding four year old girl. What a divine bittersweet joyful agony it is to be your mother, watching and guiding you into your future. Loving the ways in which your newfound independence takes root, watching you soar on tiny fledgling wings. But also wishing time would stop long enough to get my fill of you as you are right at this moment: my precious little daughter, so cherished, so caring, so wise and wonderful, so funny, so endearing, so intuitive, and so loving. My little girl.

I love your twinkly green eyes, the way you always tell me when you are "sneaking", your tears of indignation at injustice and unkindness, you capacity of joy and caring, your desire to be a friend to all. Your love of animals which extends even to snails. Your love of your Papa. Your intensity, and zeal with all you attempt. Your utmost desire to be a "perfect big sister" to your baby brother and to show him you care about him "with all your heart". You are an incredible person, LaLa. I am honored to be your Mommy.

You will always be my baby girl, no matter how old we both get. My prayers were answered on the day you were born. And that Godly answer continues to ripen with each day you bless my life and call me Mama. You are such an inspiration to me and have carved such newfound joy and purpose in my life. You are a wonder and a delight.

I love you to the moon, LaLa. And around the stars and back again.

Happy 4th Birthday.