Friendship by accident & divine design

I have a friend who fairly routinely perplexes me, often amuses me, occasionally disgusts me, and always endears me. As our friendship grows over time, (we've been known by one another for almost 5 years now) I've come to realize how much she is a unique and appreciated blessing in my life, a sensitive soul wrapped up in the most brazen potty mouth, peppered with crude humor and usually a body function or two.

Those of you who know me personally already KNOW who I am talking about. Those who don't, feel free to scroll down my links of "Other Voices". After reading those blogs, you get two guesses about who this wonder woman might be. And the first one does not count.

She is a kick in the pants almost always. As one of our mutual friends summed it SO clearly - she is the "walking incarnation of a 12-year old boy's mind in the body of an almost 30-year old woman." Yup, that's her. She is impossible to categorize beyond that. She surprises me often. But she NEVER bores me.

This woman is a dear, dear soul and I love her. She can call me in the middle of the night (and has) for any reason (note: calling drunk from a gay bar is not a generally accepted reason to require a pregnant me to wake up and have a conversation at midnight, but I digress...) and she has my instant and complete audience and heart. She is one of those rare people who just gives you no option but to either love her fiercely or ignore her altogether. And believe me, the latter option is not chosen by many. It's almost impossible. She is a strong, vibrant voice (even if it is profane often!) in a world too often content with milquetoast. She is the one who stands backwards in an elevator and farts just because. She is the one who is never content to rest. She is the one who is openly, honestly, and completely herself - denying nothing. There is no way to ignore that. Everyone I know in common with PM (potty mouth - I'm abbreviating now) adores her, feels very close to her, and is even addicted to her style and presence, even though some of us have never met her as our primary mode of communication is via email and online message boards.

All this lead up is getting us somewhere, I promise.

As I read through her blog tonight and choked - again - on my Dr. Pepper (while shaking my head because it is actually not legal to talk the way she does in at least 12 countries...), I was filled with a sense of gratitude for her in my life. And a realization that she is here by divine design. I had absolutely no way of knowing that this person would become such a dear friend to me, someone I love. I had no clue - but God did. Our accidental friendship is by His divine design.

And she is not the only one. Through this message board I have a joyful, active addiction to, I have met dozens of people who I would otherwise never have had the opportunity to get to know from the INSIDE out. Some of them have become closer to me than people I see everyday in "real life". I love their hearts, I love their kids, I love their stories, and I am warmed by their presence in my life.

Today, I was struck by the realization realized that, on the surface, PM and I have little in common except for an appreciation of humor (what exactly constitutes humor, however, is a long-standing debate between us) and a deep sacrificial love of our husbands and family. PM has a rank potty mouth (did I mention that?). Seriously. It's like an art for her, I swear. Whereas, I am the self-appointed demerit-dispensing profanity Nazi and have detested cursing since I can remember. With sheepish admission, I have not even heard of some of the more colorfully crass expressions she'll use sometimes, though I refuse to ask for clarification entirely out of principle. I am, by all standards and measures, when compared to the wacky, wild, in-your-face life my dear PM leads, rather benign - even dead boring.

But because we met without benefit of first impressions from the surface inward but rather from the heart outward, we have been able to create a bond based on the things that MATTER not those that are more superficial but so effective at distracting us from one another's' hearts. We share so many characteristics: workaholicism, abiding love and belief in the sanctity of marriage and parenthood, deeply - almost raw - sensitive hearts and compassionate souls, love of artistic expression, appreciation for humor (see above), and commitment to living at all times with integrity. She thinks she is not faithful, but she is - just in search of the most effective outlet. I tend toward listening to the "I am not good enough" mantra, and she is gentle enough in her own way to slap me around a bit as she reminds me of my worth. I try to reign her in sometimes, while she regularly tries to get me to get OUT more. She drinks appletinis, I drink Dr. Pepper. She has a whole different meaning for the words "rabbit" and "burrito" I won't go into. She makes me blush. I make her think. She makes me humble, I make her believe. We share stories and experiences of our kids, our husbands, our lives - and an overall connection and relationship I would not trade for anything. She strengthens me as a person and I hope I have done the same for her.

As I write this, I am chuckling because I appreciate this wild child friend of mine so dearly.

We became friends by accident. We happened to become pregnant about the same time in the Fall of 2000, and joined an online message board to share our journey with others who were also expecting and due at the same time. We were random, anonymous voices in the universe who had ONE thing in common when we met. We have become known friends, not random, far from anonymous, and have more things in common than I ever would have believed possible with two human beings who, from all outward appearance and behavior, seem so very, very different.

I believe that we became friends quite by divine intention. Partially because I truly believe that every single happening on the earth is part of the orchestration of life, designed and composed by God, I know that my friendship with the Wildest Woman in the West (well, Midwest) is not by accident. And I am so grateful for the opportunity to see her for who she really is and to love her even when I don't get it. :)

I am in awe of the manner in which God works and of this amazing person who routinely makes me want to spank her (not in the kinky way in which she would first read this to mean, but in the "sent to the Principal's Office" kind of way). I love her and she loves me, despite the fact that I am home, quietly typing this new entry on Saturday night and I know for bonafide FACT that she is out painting the town, dancing with drunk people, mooning random passengers in cars, and possibly even singing loud karaoke.

For this woman's accidental gift of divine friendship, I am forever grateful. God knows what he is doing when he places people in our lives. Even when one of them is SUCH a perpetual potty mouth.

And the other is such a perpetual nag about it.