ELEVEN

My girlfriend had an eleven pound baby boy this afternoon. Eleven pounds of newborn joy, cuddles, perfection, and the Lord's ultimate gift and promise of His agape love. I am giddy with joy over her sheer bliss right now. Sheer joy and sheer amazement. Did you miss the ELEVEN POUNDS part?

ELEVEN POUNDS.

And this child came into being the "natural" way - not via C-section (the manner in which both of my children were born, which, for all of it's admittedly similar pain and recovery, does tend to lessen the effects of the SIZE of the baby more than a standard devliery involving pushing of entire baby bodies through comparatively VERY small openings. I am in love with my friend right now - she is newly refreshed as a hero of mine. Eleven pounds is a whomping big baby. That lady in Brazil and her Herculean 16 pound son notwithstanding, eleven pounds will certainly alter your reality. Big time.

But because I am also the mother of a baby who has never shopped in the "Petite" section (weighing in at birth at a measly 9 pounds), I want to extend comfort to my dear friend as she may soon fall prey to my own worries as my son nearly eclipsed his 3-years-older sister in size. There ARE things bigger than our baby boys. And in honor of this precious new baby son of my friend, I went around my house tonight searching for ways to illustrate this reather comforting fact.

The folliowing is a list of 11 common household objects that comprise approximately eleven pounds. No, there is no hidden point beyond this simple exercise other than to illustrate that eleven pounds is NOT too big for a baby. There are plenty of things that are eleven pounds. At one point in life, I was eleven pounds. It was 31+ years ago, but I'm just saying....

And, no, I am not generally this easily amused. And yes, I actually did schlep all of these things to the scale in the downstairs bathroom to weigh them. And no, it would not have been easier to move the scale to the objects because then I would be carrying a scale around the house aimlessly while searching for the next 11-pound possibility. This took some time. Show a little respect for the exercise, OK?

Drumroll please....Here are eleven things in my house that weigh more than eleven pounds - in random order:

1.) Our professional electric mixer
2.) 7 cans of pasta sauce
3.) Coppers' work boots and holster
4.) 2/3 Full housepaint can (Sandy Beach color, because it matters)
5.) My foot if I press down just right on the scale
6.) 11 packages of ground turkey
7.) Two laundry detergent bottles
8.) The Harry Potter series of hardback books stacked on top of the Thomas Kincade Bible
9.) 2 COSTCO-sized Bags of Bleached Rose Rice
10.) Copper's laptop
11.) Our Family Room houseplant

In tribute to my dear friends' amazing baby, I offer this list to comfort and amuse, if not confuse a bit. Those eleven pounds of sheer baby perfection far eclipses anything I could come up with tonight.

I love you, sweetie. And GOD BLESS your new son.