R.I.P.
January 13, 2006
We bid farewell today to our beloved, cherished friend, Customer Service.
We are overwhelmed with sadness to see this trusted mainstay in our American society succumb to a painful, gradual death from a toxic mixture of apathy and ineptitude.
We regret his presence will no longer be felt at the supermarket check-out, where baggers chew gum and talk on their cell phones while customers are forced to bag their own groceries while trying to balance their toddler on one hip, make sure the other child in the cart with the nonworking seat belt does not suffocate from the belt wrapping around himself as he strains for the huge strategically placed display of candy and balloons, and attempting to pay for the bill by means of a nonfunctional debit card machine.
We lament that his sense of duty will no longer be present at the end of the phone line, when we call the department of a company bearing his name, only to be put on hold for 72 minutes and then disconnected or told we can leave a message that someone may or may not return within the current lunar cycle.
We mourn his loss as we struggle to wade through the torrent of displeasure, rude remarks, nonchalance, and grumbling as we bravely face those in reception lines or at the end of phone lines when we need to schedule appointments, mail letters, see a doctor, find any item in a DIY store, buy gasoline, or, God forbid, return clothing items - as our presence so clearly and inexcusably interrupts the individual we are dependent upon to transact such things for us, who would obviously rather be anywhere else.
And lastly, we sadly bid farewell to the cheerfulness and the kindness of his everyday life. The jaunty wave as we leave a store, the friendly voice on the other end of the phone when we call a business whose business is it to take our call, or the smile upon checkout when we patronize a store with our hard earned dollars.
We will miss you, dearest Customer Service. Your loss will be felt generationally and we were better people because you existed in our lives.
In lieu of flowers, a trust fund has been set up to pay for the therapeutic counseling which is so often needed by all who dare to enter the current American marketplace, hoping for professionalism or kind treatment, only to emerge frustrated and cranky with an unwanted understanding of the term "Going Postal".
CUSTOMER SERVICE
January 1, 0000 ~ January 13, 2006
You are deeply missed
posted by lachen at 1:49 PM
4 Comments:
You have baggers at grocery stores out there still - LOL.
Oh girl, sometimes we do - but even more exciting are the "Self-check-out" lines where the scanners rarely work, the machines continually ask me to "please remove item from bagging area," followed closely by, "please replace item in bagging area". And then finally, "Call Attendant."
Well, gosh, that was an effective way to better SERVE your customers, guys.
Sheesh.
Yep - goodbye indeed. What annoys me the most is the bank. You have 50 people waiting for 2 tellers, and all the other wickets have signs that read "Our Instant Tellers - aka bank machines (located outside) are happy to serve you". Of course I use the machines, but there are some times when you need an actual REAL LIVE PERSON! I mean I can't put $50 of rolled change from the kids into their accounts via the machines now, can I? No wonder the banks make billions of dollars each year - they don't need to hire any staff!
Customer service went away with the right to refuse service to anyone.
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