clothing conspiracy
I am not sure what size clothing I wear.
Not because I have never bothered to look, or because I don't care, or because I have a secret-shopper-concierge-dude named Basil who shops for me and sweetly clips off all my tags before I ever see what size I am wearing.
Nope. It's because almost everything I have in my closet seems to have a different size on it's tag.
I know that there is only one me. I know that I do not dramatically balloon or shrink overnight. I know that my body is basically the same size and shape today that it was yesterday, give or take a rainbow sprinkled donut or a Pilates session.
I am the same size pretty much all the time. I have been, save for the latter trimester of two pregnancies during which I seemed to exchange figures with the Pilsbury Doughboy, have been the same size since I was nineteen. And since nothing in my closet pre-dates my college days, one would assume that all my clothes would be the same size. Or thereabouts.
My clothes, however, are nowhere near this homogeneous. On any given day, my same-size-since-I-was-19 body seems to manage to fit into items with sizes ranging from 6 to 12. How can it be that some of my sweaters, shirts, pants, and dresses are labelled "LARGE" while others are tagged "SMALL", but they all seem to equally fit onto my non-metamorphic body? May I please ask what the heck this musical-chair-fashion-sizing is all about? Is it just some agenda to keep women guessing about their own bodies? Or some elaborate conspiracy to mess with our sense of confidence? You don't see this same kind of mystery sizing with shoe size, or with men's pants, or with children's clothing. It seems only to affect the garments made for the frames of women from age 18 on up.
Good grief. Can we not come up with a simple universal sizing formula for women's clothing? I do not need to be flattered by thinking I am a size 6 if I am really a size 10, or be unduly worried that I have apparently ballooned because I can barely squeeze into a size 12 pair of pants at a store, only to breathe easier when the next pair I try on, that are size 8, fit me with room to spare.
Honestly, how hard is it to just universalize this whole sizing brouhaha? We put men on the moon, we can breathe underwater, and my 2.5 year old son can navigate my laptop with ease. And yet we cannot figure this one out?
posted by lachen at 12:35 AM
3 Comments:
I couldnt agree more - my problem is shirts being too short! UGH -- though my major sizing problems are with Tater - it's sad what a range I have to buy & everything fits so differently.
Do you think this falls into the same category as the barber who says "You will never have to worry about your hair getting thin"? Apparently, flattery sells. I need a little help with men's pants. Can we call these 36's say, a 30? Actually, they are cut so baggy now, I might wear the same size as college--just be way out of style with the fit. Nah, I couldn't.
I totally agree. I always say that stores like express and jcrew size their clothes bigger to make the heavier customers feel better about themselves.
my clothes are all different sizes, too, and it can be frustrating. But Then I need to remember why the heck does anyone CARE???
I was reading instyle the other day, which I have decided NOT to do again, since it is so shallow, but it was doing some interview with lindsay lohan, and it was all, lindsay tries on blah blah blah designer dresses, as she talks, all of them size zero. Well flippin good for her. its really pathetic that our society brainwashes us to care so much.
oh and i heard mariah carey does have a personal shopper named basil who cuts all the sizes out of her dresses and REPLACES them with a lower number to make HERSELF feel better. nice. nice.
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