Cross Categorization

In my world, nearly everyone fits within two distinct relationship categories when it comes to shopping and food.

SHOPPING

With respect to shopping, you are either a HUNTER or a GATHERER. If you typify a "Hunter" (my best friend is an excellent example of this type), you know in advance the exact item(s) you are seeking, create a list, and approach the store or stores with a stopwatch, exact change, and a map. If, on the other hand, you tend to be a "Gatherer" (like my darling sister, mother, and almost every other female in my genetic lineup), time is clearly not of the essence as most shopping (grocery aside) is looked upon as a bit of a scouting adventure, often involving several rounds in a given day, peppered by periodic food and bathroom-related breaks.

FOOD

Here, there are also two categories of defining relationships to food, though distinct shades of grey do exist. For a large portion of our population, food/ meals/ eating is a critical element to their enjoyment and meals often anchor the day. These are EVENT EATERS. For those of you food uber-aficionados populating this category, a typical day is often entirely planned around meal schedules and menus. The enjoyment of food is not limited to the actual meal - it includes the preparation, the ingredient shopping, the presentation, the subtle flavoring, the ambiance, or the restaurant dining experience. Food becomes a welcome centerpiece and a focus at various points in time throughout the day. The taste, texture, and presentation of food are pleasurable for their own sake and eating time is JOY time. This type does typically enjoy and excel at cooking, and has a mature palate. And if wine is an option with dinner, they'll know which type and vintage best compliments the specific flavors of food comprising the meal.

My darling 15-month old is already well on his way to becoming the KING of this category.

Then there are those of us for whom food, meals and the whole shebang are more accurately described as a "means to an end". We are the SURVIVAL EATERS. If the human body suddenly did not need food to survive, very little would be altered in our realities. We realize the necessity of eating and engage in consuming our meals largely to avoid starvation. But eating is not an event unto itself, and is most often accomplished as an afterthought or in tandem with other "more enjoyable" activities: driving, working, gardening, talking on the phone, or painting one's fingernails (I admit nothing). We simply are not interested in pursuing CARPE DIET: seizing the opportunity to each meal into a delectable culinary feast. The difference between turkey from the deli and turkey we've spent 4 hours marinating and roasting is negligible to us, Taco Bell would be the source for both lunch and dinner on most days if left to our own devices, and we have been known to actually forget whether or not we have eaten on any given day (again, I plead the 5th).

Now, granted, these food relationship categories do include definite shades of grey, usually involving holidays such as Thanksgiving, which are marked by a traditionally huge dinner which qualifies as an EVENT, even for us lackadaisical food types.

The realizations leading to this Lachen Superfluous Classification System are long-evolved. I am still increasing my awareness as to the "whole other world" of vast food appreciation happening beyond the limits of my perception. For you see, when "what to have for dinner" is so far down the priority list it often goes unrecognized, it is incredibly difficult to comprehend how integral food can be in the lives of others. And if you are not familiar with the "shopping as a distance event" philosophy, accompanying someone who is a well decorated athlete in this field on a shopping excursion can be utterly exhausting, a tad bit amusing, and just a wee bit frustrating.

Over the last 18 months, I have been led (by gently insistent force) to embrace the antithesis of my natural inclinations, and both eat and shop against type. With the arrival of my second child and the adoption of my stay-at-home-full-time-work-only-part-time-Mom status, I now have a 6:00 deadline for dinner, which involves some degree of preplanning and actually sitting down with my family to enjoy the fruits of my labor. And because there are few "breaks" a Mommy gets to take free-of-charge, visiting the local shopping mall or even a simple Home Depot store can be turned into a rejuvenating "spa-like" experience if you walk slowly enough and really spend time savoring your perusal of the endless displays of knob pulls in the kitchen and bath department. Plus, considering that so many of my friends and family are "Gatherers" and my love for them causes me to want to spend time with them at any opportunity, I do find myself sitting outside many a fitting room door while wondering exactly how many stores there could possibly be within a 6 block radius?

Making the quite voluntary leap across categorical boundary has been a stretch for me. And even though the meals I cook for my family are ready on the dot and prepared with love, I still yearn for the days of Freebirds buritto's eaten while doing three other things on the way to do something else. And though I do wander the aisles of my local home improvement warehouse (they haven't called in the white coats yet but I'm sure it's just a matter of time) and accompany beloved family and friends on what can only be described as shopping "triathelons", I have been known to bow out mid-session. I find a happy place to curl up (usually outside the dressing room where someone I love has been camped out for 45 minutes), and dig into the Dr. Pepper and magazine I tucked into my purse before we left the house.

See? I'm learning.